Most women love to be spoiled and pampered, and so a man who can do things to pamper his partner is giving her pleasure and doing something useful as well.
Many women have tired and painful feet by the evening and would love to have some pampering when they get home. They could go to have a pedicure, or a foot massage professionally, but a man who can take the effort to learn what to do can provide this at home.
Here are some ideas:
- Wash and sponge her feet clean from the day (you may be allowed to kiss them)
- Learn how to massage her feet to relieve tension
- Learn how to give her a pedicure
- Learn how to paint her toenails the color she desires
- Be her footstool or sit so she can put her feet up on you on the couch
- Dry her after her bath or shower with fresh towels
- Help her undress or dress
These are only a few ideas but you can see from the type of things I have put here that there are so many ways in which you can give her a personal service and give her pleasure. Remember that if you give her pleasure, and she is relaxed she is much more likely to feel like sex. Of course if you have embraced the twin pillars of restarting intimacy of being mindful of your partner and all their needs, desires and aspirations, and the use of male chastity, you will be aware of ways to please her and she will wish to use her control of your parts to please you in return. Not your decision but hers of when you will be released, but pleasure for both is the aim.
The overall aim of your new life as you reintroduce intimacy into your lives is to make every action intimate, and to allow intimacy to occur in all areas of life, and this approach to personal care in pleasing your partner leads in this direction.
Remember
Before you attempt any of the above activities you do need to learn how to do them. This may mean you going with your partner to learn from a professional masseur or podiatrist how to massage feet or shoulders or to give a pedicure, learning from educational aids or books, but above all learning from your partner.
It is not just doing this sort of activity once that counts but it is doing it day after day, until you no longer have to concentrate on what you are doing and it becomes second nature. Not requiring her to nag you about what to do or when to do it that shows that you care makes it all fine and intimate between you.
Doing it only when you want something, or doing it badly or in a rush, or not listening and being mindful to her needs will be easy for her to see. Equally the fact that you are doing these things consistently day after day builds the total intimacy of your lives and shows each other that you care so much for the other person and their needs and desires.
Although all of the items in the above section are very intimate, there is really little difference in principle from providing these services to your partner and regularly taking out the trash and keeping all your stuff tidy. Both sorts of activity show the sort of person you are.
Exercise: Personal care
Read through this post or a chapter in the Restart Intimacy book and the Reintroduction to Intimacy course workbook together, sitting close together, and reading alternate paragraphs to each other. Now decide on one of the areas of personal care which you both want to explore. The man will need to ask the woman how she would like things done in this area, and any specific likes and dislikes. There is no use in making her a cup of tea if you do not know if she likes milk or sugar in it.
Now write it all down and agree it. The woman shows the man what to do and once he feels he understands he then does the task. He gives feedback on what he thinks he has done well, and what he could do better; she responds with her perceptions of the same. They then agree when and how it should happen, and whether it should happen without needing to be asked for, or only when requested.
Do you dare try chastity to increase your attentiveness to your partner and to increase intimacy between them?
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Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man (Re-Introduction for the single man)
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Ms. Sierra Parker 