111 The key to great sex is consideration for each other

The aim of both partners should always be to be fully mindful of the other, and to seek pleasure in giving pleasure to them. It may be that you could start with tantric kissing, then cuddling, then oral sex so that the woman has an orgasm, and then move into more tantric themed penetration and take it all from there.

This is something to savor, to enjoy, and to reflect upon, always finding ways to increase the pleasure of your partner and hence your own.

Restart Intimacy is a process that will allow both partners to grow in intimacy in all areas of their lives, and to make the whole of life an adventure in intimacy. By starting from the beginning again, with the man embracing male chastity and its limitations both are freed from the problems of the past to try new methods and techniques to improve their lives.

I have deliberately not sought to give a system to allow both partners to reach intimacy and orgasm in sex for no one advice fits all. Everyone will be different both in what they find gives them pleasure and the best way to do it. The most I can do is to point each man and woman in the way of being open with each other, and non-judgmental, and to emphasize that this is a joint learning for both partners and for the pleasure of both of them.

You both need to learn how to please each other

You can only do this by starting with an open mind.

You can always learn more!

The more you are mindful of your partner and seek to please the better for both.

Although most men know little of how to please a woman they can always learn if they really want to. Your partner is your best teacher but you must want to learn.

If you start from the premise that HER PLEASURE IS YOUR PRIORITY then you become less likely to go wrong. You will listen, you will follow the clues and markers that she lays of how you can please her. You will take your time and make sure she is getting the pleasure she needs and desires. You will gain a great degree of close intimacy from even the simple actions, and your lovemaking will become more effective.

By giving pleasure you will gain it in return. If she allows you to have penetrative sex with her and it pleases her then it may occur again. By giving her pleasure she will do all she can to give you pleasure, and the more you open up to the possibilities of all the ways you can give pleasure the more you will both enjoy yourselves.

By using this process and learning the habits of communication, mindfulness, and sharing, and by the changes which come with voluntarily embracing male chastity and mindfulness you will have prepared yourself for a better relationship and greater intimacy. By handing over control you will discover that you have greater freedom to learn, and as a result most often increased intimacy and sex also.

By learning how to please you will end up with more sex not less, and so much better.