5 Preconceptions: Women Just Want to Talk

This is often a complaint by men who want more sex from their partners. But it is not true. Women want sex to give them pleasure and this takes time, more than that provided by many men. They also desire intimacy as much as sex and feel let down when all the man appears to want is a quick orgasm.

For a woman intimacy encompasses so much more than sex, and she wants a partner who can fulfil all her needs so they can develop real depth in their relationship and both get the utmost pleasure from their life together. She is looking for a partner who can meet her needs, or wants to work with a partner that she may already have to change things and make life better for both of them.

What all women whom are not in a relationship need is a supply of men who understand their needs as potential partners, and their needs for intimacy in all its forms and are prepared to deliver. If they are already in a relationship they need help to understand and express their needs and to develop in their partner a real understanding for their needs and skills to deliver what is going to make both of them happy.

A woman learns to be open about her needs and desires and both men and women need to learn to communicate together to look at specific issues and how to improve them. On the way they study the nature of intimacy, and a man learns to listen to their partner to find her needs so they can fulfill them.

Men learn skills which may improve their behavior around the home, and lead to them being able to serve their partner as she needs, and get pleasure from it as they do so. This service of the man to his partner in learning her needs and doing what she wants is liberating to both partners and leads to a “virtuous spiral” of increasing intimacy in small things, more pleasure and communication, and to even more of the same.

Get restarted now!

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Kindle: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Approach-Chastity-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B00GUDSXXC/

Paperback: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Unique-Approach-Chastity/dp/1493696319/

wb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples: Part 1. Build the foundations making male chastity work for you

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Couples-workbook-ebook/dp/B00H133E8E/

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-foundations-chastity/dp/1494207109/

wb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy:a Workbook for couples: Part 2: Learn the skills; Become Expert and Fulfilled

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-couples-Fulfilled/dp/1494217155/

swb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 1: Build the Foundations; making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Foundations-chastity/dp/1494217562/

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-single-ebook/dp/B00H0VGHYK/

swb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 2. Learn the skills : Become Expert and ready for Intimacy

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-skills/dp/1494217759/

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4 Preconceptions: Men Just Want Sex

For men, issues of being intimate are often a massive problem, as they are programmed from their earlier experiences and the media to equate intimacy with penetrative genital sex and nothing else, so they are unable to fulfill the needs of their partner who remains dissatisfied.

For many men their brains are conditioned by their exposure to the images of both soft and hard porn, and the entertainment industry. They are able to masturbate and to reach orgasm with the use of these images and thinking of them in their imagination, and this limits their responses in the real world of dealing with real people.

For many single men, not in a relationship their previous experience of intimacy has been so limited they do not know where to begin, and they are hampered by what experience they already have. Even for those in a relationship their grasp of the essentials of intimacy may be so limited, and their skills in listening, communicating, and serving the needs of a woman may limit the relationship and prevent the enjoyment both should have.

For men the patterns of thought and arousal which have been developed need to be broken and new ones developed to lead them into both conscious and unconscious different behaviors.

But this is not true for all; even if for many men it is a problem. It is possible to change and to begin to understand that intimacy is more than just sex. If a man wants to develop he can do it.

He may struggle at first but he can develop a deep and intimate relationship where what matters is his partner’s needs, desires and aspirations and he is mindful and focused on her. She will respond to this and be better able to satisfy him and both will gain.

Get restarted now!

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Kindle: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Approach-Chastity-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B00GUDSXXC/

Paperback: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Unique-Approach-Chastity/dp/1493696319/

 

wb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples: Part 1. Build the foundations making male chastity work for you

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Couples-workbook-ebook/dp/B00H133E8E/

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-foundations-chastity/dp/1494207109/

wb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy:a Workbook for couples: Part 2: Learn the skills; Become Expert and Fulfilled

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-couples-Fulfilled/dp/1494217155/

swb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 1: Build the Foundations; making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Foundations-chastity/dp/1494217562/

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-single-ebook/dp/B00H0VGHYK/

swb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 2. Learn the skills : Become Expert and ready for Intimacy

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-skills/dp/1494217759/

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3 An Example of Intimacy and Food

Eating together can be intimate and give pleasure even if it is not a “special” meal. If you are preparing for a meal together making sure you have the food your partner likes allows you to relax together and have a good time.

If the man takes trouble to offer help, to set the table, to clear up, and to do the washing up and take out the trash, the woman who has worked hard to produce a meal will not feel it has all been her work and she has been left to do everything. She will be less likely to be grumpy about all the effort she has taken.

She will be so pleased to see the man taking his part and seeing the effort he has made that this may allow them both to enjoy the meal more, and being together and reduce the risk of bickering and stress.

A nice meal, eaten together with a partner or friend draws you both together and leads on. It was like that when you first met your partner. These were “romantic” meals. But you can do the same with any meal. Get take-out your partner or friend likes so she does not need to cook but make sure you get what she likes not just what you like otherwise there may be trouble.

If you live on your own you can learn how to cook and set the table and keep everywhere clean and tidy so if you do invite in a potential friend of partner they will not be repelled by what they see and how you go about things.

If as a couple you are alone for your meal you can feed each other tidbits on a spoon or with a fork or on a finger. You can go further if you both want to. But always thank your partner for the food they give you.

Take this approach and mealtimes become more intimate and pleasurable.

Get restarted now!

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Kindle: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Approach-Chastity-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B00GUDSXXC/

Paperback: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Unique-Approach-Chastity/dp/1493696319/

 

wb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples: Part 1. Build the foundations making male chastity work for you

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Couples-workbook-ebook/dp/B00H133E8E/

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-foundations-chastity/dp/1494207109/

wb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy:a Workbook for couples: Part 2: Learn the skills; Become Expert and Fulfilled

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-couples-Fulfilled/dp/1494217155/

swb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 1: Build the Foundations; making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Foundations-chastity/dp/1494217562/

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-single-ebook/dp/B00H0VGHYK/

swb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 2. Learn the skills : Become Expert and ready for Intimacy

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-skills/dp/1494217759/

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2 Sex and Intimacy

Intimacy is more than just sex. Many people may be having sex frequently but still feel they are missing out on intimacy in their lives. Others have no sex and do not know how to start developing an intimate relationship with another person.

Intimacy is a feeling of being close to someone and that you belong together. It grows from listening to the other person and learning of their needs, desires and aspirations, being open, honesty, and supporting each other as you take the relationship forward.

Even if there is sex with your partner it may not be satisfying for the woman if the man does not know how she wants it and how to satisfy her. If you do not try to understand her needs, listen to what she is saying and be open and she does the same then the relationship will remain shallow and may be doomed.

Learn how to be mindful of your partner or potential partner in all things. Discover how to curb bad habits and focus yourself on each other. Find the many areas of your lives in which simple actions can become an opportunity for intimacy.

Your change starts HERE!

restart

Kindle: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Approach-Chastity-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B00GUDSXXC/

Paperback: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Unique-Approach-Chastity/dp/1493696319/

 

wb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples: Part 1. Build the foundations making male chastity work for you

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Couples-workbook-ebook/dp/B00H133E8E/

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-foundations-chastity/dp/1494207109/

wb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy:a Workbook for couples: Part 2: Learn the skills; Become Expert and Fulfilled

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-couples-Fulfilled/dp/1494217155/

swb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 1: Build the Foundations; making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Foundations-chastity/dp/1494217562/

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-single-ebook/dp/B00H0VGHYK/

swb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 2. Learn the skills : Become Expert and ready for Intimacy

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-skills/dp/1494217759/

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1 Restart Intimacy

restart
RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

By Sierra Parker

I know that your relationships are unlikely to be as intimate as you want them to be. If you are on your own, you are seeking to make and develop intimate relationships. Even if you are in a relationship both of you may not be seeing all the intimacy you desire.

But it does not have to be like this. My book Restart Intimacy and the course Re-introduction to Intimacy show you how to change the way you live and put intimacy at the center of your life.

So follow this blog, buy the book, study the course, and you will change and grow so that there is much more intimacy in your life and that of your partner. If you are seeking a relationship this process will help you to make and develop intimate relationships better than in the past.

Place intimacy at the center of YOUR life. I can show you how to do so.

You CAN have a better and more intimate and pleasure filled life!

Your change starts HERE!

restart

Kindle: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Approach-Chastity-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B00GUDSXXC/

Paperback: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Unique-Approach-Chastity/dp/1493696319/

 

wb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples: Part 1. Build the foundations making male chastity work for you

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Couples-workbook-ebook/dp/B00H133E8E/

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-foundations-chastity/dp/1494207109/

wb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy:a Workbook for couples: Part 2: Learn the skills; Become Expert and Fulfilled

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-couples-Fulfilled/dp/1494217155/

swb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 1: Build the Foundations; making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Foundations-chastity/dp/1494217562/

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-single-ebook/dp/B00H0VGHYK/

swb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 2. Learn the skills : Become Expert and ready for Intimacy

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-skills/dp/1494217759/

122 Restart Intimacy – You Can Have a Better Life

My aim in writing my book Restart Intimacy was to introduce the whole idea and practice of restarting intimacy to a wider audience so that more people can discover for themselves how to make a relationship better than it is already.

I know the approach works, for I have seen it work with individuals and couples, but I also know that it does not work for everyone. No single approach works for everybody so this is not surprising. But for those who wish to take on the adventure and will be prepared to put in the effort and to work through the difficult times the future can be bright and intimate.

My advice to anyone who has clicked onto these blog posts is to get the book so you can see the whole picture of how to restart intimacy in your life. Talk about it with your partner, share together what I have written and give it a try. If you want advice or help, or simply someone to talk to about it, I and my colleagues are available as are other coaches and advisors to help you realize the total potential of your relationship.

I think you will find that once you embark on this adventure there will be no turning back, no half measures and you will change yourself, your partner and the way you live and love together for the better and for the enjoyment of both.

So do you dare accept that things are not perfect in your life?

Do you have the guts to change?

Do you really want to put intimacy at the center of your relationship?

Do you care for your partner enough to be lead by Her?

Are you prepared to make changes in the way you live and to learn new skills?

If the answers to these questions is Yes then you need to get my book, enroll in the “Re-Introduction to Intimacy” course, and start on the process of change!

You can do it!

If you need help and a mentor or external supervisor I can help put you in touch with someone who will be able to help you (contact the author, Sierra Parker, here).

This external help can be useful for couples and is really needed for men who seek a relationship but do not have a partner.

Buy the book Restart Intimacy!

Enroll in the Re-Introduction to Intimacy course!

Get your skates on and change NOW!

restartRESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

Kindle: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Approach-Chastity-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B00GUDSXXC/

Paperback: RESTART INTIMACY A Unique Approach to Male Chastity: Let’s Get Started!! (Intimacy and Male Chastity)

http://www.amazon.com/RESTART-INTIMACY-Unique-Approach-Chastity/dp/1493696319/

wb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples: Part 1. Build the foundations making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-foundations-chastity/dp/1494207109/

wb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy:a Workbook for couples: Part 2: Learn the skills; Become Expert and Fulfilled

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-couples-Fulfilled/dp/1494217155/

Re-Introduction to Intimacy: A Workbook for Couples (Re-Introduction to Intimacy A workbook for couples)

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Couples-workbook-ebook/dp/B00H133E8E/

swb1Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 1: Build the Foundations; making male chastity work for you

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Foundations-chastity/dp/1494217562/

swb2Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man: Part 2. Learn the skills : Become Expert and ready for Intimacy

Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-skills/dp/1494217759/

Re-Introduction to Intimacy: a Workbook for the Single Man (Re-Introduction for the single man)

Kindlehttp://www.amazon.com/Re-Introduction-Intimacy-Workbook-Single-single-ebook/dp/B00H0VGHYK/

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121 What happens when you take the risk of change? A real life example

Michael and Mary had been married for 10 years. They had courted for 6 months before the marriage, but both came from “old fashioned backgrounds” and had little sexual experience and there was no sex before marriage. Seems odd but it still happens sometimes. That was the way they had been brought up!

Now things had gone stale. When they married Michael always wanted sex, and was so attentive, flowers, meals out, anything to please. Now after two children, Mary always seemed tired. Both worked but Michael brought in most of the money. Mary did all the housework.

They wanted to change things as they had started to have arguments about silly things, and found themselves saying wounding things about each other, then withdrawing into a hurt silence more like a sulk than anything else. They were introduced to me through a friend, just as I was developing the Reintroduction to Intimacy course, and putting together the information to write my books. For me they agreed to become one of my early “guinea pig“ experiments on restarting intimacy in a relationship.

Once I got to know them it all poured out, dissatisfaction by Mary that Michael did not pull his weight at home, and she was not getting the intimacy and support she wanted and needed. He realized her issues, but for him it was that she did not often want sex because she was too tired and he felt rejected. She had not realized that he was masturbating whilst looking at porn on the computer most nights. He needed to stop, and he realized this as well.

It was difficult to persuade Michael to stop and embrace male chastity, but he cared for Mary and she thought it might help after we had all discussed it, and I had had chats with them both separately. So they decided to give it a go.

It was a difficult start for both of them. He wanted to try “male chastity” on his terms, no kit, but it did not work out as he could not do it. But even that meant that he became more attentive to Mary and her needs and she could see it. Both felt that things were slightly better but not what they wanted. I persuaded them to try the “restart” approach.

They tried again, this time with a CB6000 bought off Amazon. This time it clicked, not at first as there were teething troubles, but it seemed to be possible. Michael was really up for it this time. He said that being locked away and seeing the key hanging around Mary’s neck made him so aroused and kept him on edge all the time.

The crux came one week after Michael was away at a conference for work. He was locked up with the key at home twenty miles away. But they had time for late evening talk and they chatted each evening and he found himself thinking of her all the time. He was partially aroused day and night by the thought of Mary there at home, and the touch of the CB6000 made him feel that there was something there all the time. This time he was away there was no possibility of masturbating to porn on the hotel television.

Now his behaviour started to change. She held the reins and she liked it. She had started to wear the “key to his heart” around her neck. He became ever more attentive to her as he knew this was the only way he was going to get release. He had agreed it,  he wanted it to work, and was prepared to do whatever it took. He became so engaged in the project where he might have had second thoughts before.

They talked every night, when he was away but also now every evening at home as well and they began to work out what they wanted to change in the way they were living together.

She wanted more help at home, more intimacy (not sex) and more listening to her needs. All of this was work and change for him to do.

He wanted more positive feedback when he did things right, more chance to be together touching and possibly more sex if she wanted it, and fewer arguments between them. This was stuff for her to do as well as him.

What did they do?

He calls before coming home to see if there is anything she needs to be picked up from the shops. He greets her with a kiss when he gets home and asks about her day first before he tells her about his problems at work. He clears the table after supper and does the washing up after she has cooked.

So what about intimacy between them?

They take time to talk and discuss things so there are fewer arguments. They set aside time after the children are in bed for them to be together. Whilst she puts the children to bed he tidies the rooms. Then they sit quietly together touching and cuddling. He cuddles up to her in bed and gives her a kiss before he gets up in the morning. He checks before he leaves the house if there is anything he should do before coming home. He buys her flowers. He does his share of the chores.

Now he has become much more attentive and realized that he needs to do his share of work around the home, particularly at weekends, so his wife is less tired. They split the work at weekends so they get it done faster, and then have energy for each other.

They take opportunities to go out together, and occasionally have time in the afternoon when the children are out with friends or even away overnight for a sleepover.

Does he get more sex or less?

Now he is released from the chastity device at least once a week, and this is because his wife wants sex and is less tired. Previously sex had almost stopped and become something less than once a month, but with more time for cuddles, more time touching each other, and for Mary the chance to tease him when he is in the chastity as well, everything is more tactile, as they touch each other so many times a day, and use it to show they care and keep close.

Is he pussy whipped?

No. He has freely given Mary the gift of his male chastity and the key. He does so much more because he wants to do it, and he can see the effect of his sharing in the work at home has had on Mary. Before he was not pulling his weight; now they are doing it all together and it draws them closer.

Commentary

This is a real case and not made up. These things really happened as I have described. It was all slightly embarrassing for me as I did not expect such massive changes to occur. I was fascinated to see the changes and they both talked to me of how they were feeling. I could see through their eyes how they had truly restarted intimacy into their lives. Even their friends noticed that things were different, and asked what was happening, but they did not want to tell anyone, and Michael was never going to let on that he wore a chastity device for his wife and she held the key. I was surprised how much effort they both put into it, and both have separately told me how much they have got out of it as well

No matter; it all happened because at the core of it they had a good and stable marriage, just with issues on top which obscured their love for each other. Both wanted it better and wanted to try. They worked out the details for themselves with their own experience. I only helped them to be focused on what they were going to try to do and gave hints on how they could be more mindful of each other. Their desire to change and to improve things made it possible for them to embrace change, and to change the way they were living.

Now several years later is it still the same. Yes, surprising, but they are now still in love with each other as much as before and always seeking to please and support each other. Michael still wears his chastity when he goes out to work, or is away, and sometimes they both decide to have him in chastity for longer periods as well. He knows he is valued, and although the chastity may irritate and restrict him he knows at the depth of his being that he is chaste because he wants to be and he wants to give all his love and effort to pleasing Mary.

Can it go on forever like this?

I do not know, but the individuals who I have given these names in this example want it to do so, as they are having so much fun and are so close to each other.

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